You've Got Wool In Your Eyes

I only know one or two people that are truly confident in themselves and it’s very possible that they’re lying to me.

One of the most perpetrated, socially acceptable, morally reprehensible traits that you and I share with all of the other sapiens on the planet is our ability to craft ourselves an echo chamber. We are incredibly gifted at building a framework of limiting beliefs, flawed paradigms from misinterpreted experiences, and curated trauma from our past. Most often, these are so difficult to recover from that we ignore them rather than engage.

What makes this an even more difficult reality to swallow is the fact that NONE of us do this on purpose. None of us decide that we’re going to hold ourselves back, limit our potential, or wallow in trauma or self-pity for the majority of our days on earth.

I’ve found that most of those I speak to have this deep sense of loss, even mourning, when it comes to what they want to accomplish or experience in their lives. It’s like we all understand that we’re made for something more than what we consistently settle for…we just don’t know how to get there.

This subconscious angst is where so much of the “bad stuff” we deal with each day finds its roots. We experience frustration, impatience, anger, depression, anxiety, and “FOMO” because we know that we should be doing and accomplishing more. The heroic version of ourselves that we’ve been ignoring understands that we aren’t all that we could (or should) be, whether we want to consciously recognize it or not.

So, we medicate, distract, entertain, and comfort ourselves into a numb stupor. We actively avoid difficulty and fight through anything that challenges the safety of our echo chamber so we can experience the numbness again as quickly as possible. We live for arbitrary days in the future where we can (insert future goal, retirement date, or new resolution here) rather than embracing the challenges, opportunities, and growth available to us each day.

Does any of this sound or feel familiar? If so, it’s time to get that wool out of your eyes and start preparing yourself an escape hatch.

(This is something that I’m going to be talking about quite a bit, so be sure that you’re following me on social, that you’re subscribed to my newsletter, etc. I’m here to be IN YOUR CORNER!)

How to Escape

Step One - Rip Out the Wool

As with almost anything else, the first requirement is for you to acknowledge that you NEED to change things. I’m going to assume that, if you’ve read all the way to this point, you recognize yourself in some of what I’ve written and you are hoping to change that reality.

So, to change, you must face it fully. Get out your hypothetical (or real-life) mirror and face the truth. Take stock of your progress and your current reality. Describe to yourself the ways that your life doesn’t match up with what your internal heroic nature wants it to be.

In writing this, part of me wants to caution you to be gentle with yourself. But, another part of me wants to advise the opposite. Coddling your ego (or ignoring things altogether) is what got you to this point…Now isn’t the time to give in that voice. Be tough on yourself now so you can be happy with yourself later.

Step Two - Build Your Community

The final step I’m going to talk about today focuses on your community. You’ve likely heard people talk about “auditing your circle” so much that it’s cliche at this point. Let’s look at it a bit differently — you must BUILD a circle worth having.

To do this you need to start getting rid of the influence of those that inject negativity, complaints, or low standards into your life. Notice I didn’t say to eradicate them…just their influence. It might be parents, children, a spouse, a sibling, or someone else you love enough that you can’t let them go and that’s okay! Just stop allowing their influence to hold you back.

You also need to figure out who to ADD to your circle. Most of the time, we think about this in the context of people that we can lean on when times get tough but what about people that truly understand and support our journey? I’m talking about those that will support your growth, celebrate it while challenging you to continue to do better, and won’t judge you for your goals or desire to achieve your fullest potential.

In my experience, these are much more rare and more difficult to find than “a shoulder to lean upon.” Frankly, you probably have enough shoulders right now…find someone that’s going to challenge you and not accept your excuses when you let yourself down. That is a teammate that can help you change your entire world.

Conclusion

From here, we’ll tackle other things like habits and process building, goal setting, skills upgrades, and so on but all of that is worthless unless we figure out how to get outside of our own echo chambers and start walking in the light of our potential.

Be sure to stay in touch, shoot me messages on social, subscribe to my newsletter, and give me a follow over on Twitter. I want to be in this fight with you and want you as part of MY community. Together, let’s change the world!