The Now/Later Conundrum | Learn to Make the Right Decision
If it helps, think of the second hardest candy in the world…Now & Laters! Growing up, I had a love/hate relationship with this simultaneously hard/chewy candy that seemed like it couldn’t make up its mind on how it wanted to be eaten. First, it’s super hard. Then starts to dissolve. But, if you try to chew it, it turns into some sort of crazed dental villain that feels like it’s trying to pull your teeth out of your head!
Now and later…despite my nostalgic rabbit trail, I think there’s something that we can learn from or connections we can make with the candy that couldn’t make up its mind. I’m talking about the conundrum, confusion, and spread of outcomes and consequences that come from the decisions we make on a daily basis.
See, each decision we make kind of turns into this Frankenstein’s monster of reality. We make a decision and then, no matter what, we have to deal with the consequences and fall out from that decision. Frequently, our decisions work out well and life continues to happily march along the course that we’ve decided we want it to follow. But many times, like an AWOL monster or a fickle-minded candy, our decisions wreak havoc with our world or turn into super glue and try to rip our teeth (or hair) out of our heads.
There are countless reasons for this. Some are in our control, but others aren’t…or at least they don’t feel like they are because by the time consequences begin cropping up, we’ve already forgotten the decisions we’ve made. It’s a struggle I’m calling, the Now/Later Conundrum.
Every single decision we make has consequences. (Remember your parents telling you this at the WORST possible times? It’s like they take a class on how to pour salt into our emotional wounds or something!) As we grow up, we seem to develop this weird sort of selective understanding of the decisions we make and the way they impact us. Or, maybe we just get better at justifying our decisions to ourselves and, since most of our decisions are made internally, we don’t have an objective third party (like our parents) there to point out all of the negative potential our decisions might have.
The result of this logical loophole is that we make decisions ALL THE TIME without actually considering how the decision we’re making NOW might play out LATER. Let me give you some examples:
Even though we know better, we might overindulge in this meal NOW, but feel bad/gain weight/be unhealthier LATER.
Even though we know better, we might buy this thing NOW, but give up the peace of mind that comes from being debt-free LATER.
Even though we know better, we might avoid a difficult conversation NOW, but give up our ability to speak up LATER.
Starting to see the pattern? We trade some sort of convenience, ease, pleasure, or indulgence now for future “goodness.” In essence, we become our own loan sharks trading on future happiness for a momentary tidbit of mediocre enjoyment.
Ouch! Gotta be honest, I didn’t even KNOW that last sentence was going to come out like that and it stings a bit…Let me turn this thing around and give us all some hope!
The Turnaround
We’re not alone in this! Every one of us is guilty and struggles with this in certain areas. Even when you see incredibly successful people that seem to have everything together, there are likely areas where they struggle with this exact thing. Maybe they’re fit and trim and well put together financially? Perhaps you don’t see the fact that they trade family time and connection with their kids for hours spent engrossed in their latest venture. That family whose social media feed looks like they’re some sort of fairytale family come to life? Maybe you’re missing the fact that mom and dad consistently trade time together for hours on the couch browsing social media for the next trend they’re going to jump on.
In short, everyone struggles with decisions, and the fact that you and I do the same makes us normal, not dumb or somehow substandard. In fact, the very fact that you can recognize the need for an intervention in your decision-making approach is evidence of your desire to continue growing! So, how do you do that?
Acknowledgment of the need has already happened if you’ve read this far, but maybe it’s good to take a moment to sit and meditate on that reality. Think about your decisions today and point out those where you chose NOW over LATER. Why did you do that? You’re not stupid, so there was a perceived benefit…What was it and what future thing did you trade for it? Will it be worth it when you “get there” down the road?
After taking time to acknowledge and understand a bit better what decisions you’ve made in the last 24 hours, do the same for the past week…the past month if possible! From there, work on categorizing your decisions. What are the biggest ones related to? What trait are they tied to and what LATER component of yourself or your circumstance would you most like to see change?
Do Some Work
Take time to REALLY dig into these questions. Write them down, catalog your responses, make connections, and work to understand the emotions behind them. Be raw and honest with yourself! You are here, reading this. That tells me that you want to grow and change components of your life…this is how you start that process! But, if you lie to yourself or continue to justify every poor decision you’ve made, you’ll finish reading this and it’ll go into that dusty mental warehouse to be filed away with so many other unimplemented good ideas.
Once you’ve taken the time to have a harshly honest conversation with yourself and you’ve taken the time to list, analyze, categorize, and FEEL your latest decisions, it’s time to get back out there and start living your life. But this time, do it better…do it with LATER in mind.
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Until next time…keep on keeping on!